What to blog about next? That’s something I’ve been asking myself this week. I’ve been brainstorming a few ideas, and to be quite honest with you I feel a little stuck. And yes, I feel just as stuck with myself as with my writing – absolutely fantastic right?!

I guess the way I write things down is not even by thinking about it. I just let my wee little fingers and brain do the work and before I know it, I’ve written down an entire story no one even asked for. I guess that’s the beauty of just letting your brain do the work. I mean, when doesn’t it do the work lol, especially with my little (big) overthinking problem…

However, sometimes I do wonder how some people do it. The not thinking part that is. No thoughts, just do it. Just go for something, rather than constantly weighing every slight little option against each other. I mean, technically, I can as well. But it’s different… lol. I don’t really think when I write. I just empty all the thoughts in my head and put everything on paper. And funnily enough I don’t care what kind of absolute nonsense comes out. Yes call me Sabrina Carpenter, honestly such a tune! If you haven’t listened yet, 10/10 for sure. You’re so welcome 😉

Ok, maybe a little less on the music recommendations and a little more focus on the writing and the part where I want to get to I guess. Even though I am not even 100% sure myself where I’m trying to get to, ugh if life isn’t confusing enough already… I guess this is what I mean. My brain just has a weird way of functioning. Ok, maybe i’m a little harsh on myself, although I do have a weird way of thinking sometimes (just like everyone else right lol).

Alas this girl needs to focus for once. I guess that sometimes I’m just a little jealous of the people who are the Type A kind of people. Someone who has a highly competitive, ambitious personality, whose work style is driven by deadlines, who loves multitasking without getting distracted by the slightest little thing, someone who is very much prone to stress and frustration. Someone who has ‘perfectionist’ as her middle name and simply does what she needs to do to get closer to her goals. The person who has a strong ability of leadership, who wouldn’t take no for an answer, who leaves and moves on when something, or someone doesn’t benefit their life anymore. Someone who doesn’t let their emotions get the best of them, someone who just gets on with life and doesn’t feel stuck.

Unfortunately, I do not fall under that category of people. I’m not even sure if I fall under the Type B kind of people. For everyone who doesn’t know the difference between Type A and B, well, Type B people are the ones who are a little more relaxed, very easy going, patient rather than impatient and also someone who is flexible. They go at a steady pace, no need to rush (one way or another, they will get where they need to be – they’d rather enjoy the journey). They handle stress and setbacks in life calmly rather than getting burned out, and they’ve got a great work life balance which does seem like a dream to me.

Now, I think I both have great traits. I think, however, that I am neither Type A nor B. I think I’m Type Roo. Someone who would love to be driven, but gets scared and easily overwhelmed. Someone who likes to lead, but also loves to be led. Someone who has far too much patience with people but stays with them regardless of their inconsistency and the way I get treated in the process, even though deep down I know I deserve better. I’m someone who doesn’t handle stress particularly well at all. Unfortunately, I get burned out easily – someone who says she gets on with life, only to find herself feeling even more lost a year later. Someone who does want to rush certain things in life, but would also love to cherish the important moments in life and wish time would not go by so quickly. I’m someone who feels her emotions very deeply. I’m someone who hates it when situations or arguments are not being treated fairly. I’m someone who wishes she could get angry rather than being disappointed. I’m someone who would rather speak up in certain situations than stay quiet, even though I really really want to.

So yes, that’s me pretty much in a nutshell. I cannot say I’m a Type A girly or even a Type B gal. I’ve got the ambition to be a Type A person, but unfortunately I also have the nervous system of a Type B and I think it’s pretty clear that my ambition and my capacity don’t operate at the same speed – surprise surprise. If I had to make my own personality formula, I guess it would look a lot like the following:

Ambition: “I want to do EVERYTHING.”

Brain: “Okay, but that’s a lot.”

Soul: “Can we slow down and enjoy life please?”

Heart: “Maybe they’re not treating me very well, but I understand why they’re like this.”

Inner judge: “THIS IS NOT FAIR.”

Mouth: …says nothing.

Emotions: “WE ARE GOING TO FEEL ALL OF THIS AT 400%.”

Me: “Anyway, we’ll get on with it and cry about it (a lot!).”

So I guess I’m not your typical Type A or B person. I know, I know. But I call this my typical Roo version. Someone who knows what she wants but is just having a hard time navigating how to get there. Eventually, it will all make sense (I hope). Whether that’s in a couple of weeks’ time or even years’ time, I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

xo,

Roo